byron j. scullin

So what happens when you send $6 million on a home cinema?

This happens….

Full article here.
(via Audio Video Interiors)

Things I would expect from this home cinema:

• for all men to instantly show me a deep and lasting respect
• at least a 3 to 5 inch extension in both length and girth
• to have my pick of the women and,
  • get instantly rigid

  • go the distance
  • go repeatedly
• to make lightning bolts come out of my finger tips and have a god-like presence where ever I go
• to both be able to both see and hear individual sperm in porno cum-shots
• to know more about music & cinema than any other living human
• to know more about hi-fi, audio and electronics than anyone within 3.5 light-years of the solar system
• to hear some “killer, phat” bass
• for The Carpenters Greatest Hits to sound pretty good, particularly “Calling Occupants…”
• for a constant stream of male audiophiles to be paying me a visit
• for a constant stream of male audiophiles to be using my bathroom in an inappropriate manner
• for other men to speak of me in hushed tones when they see my stride purposefully round the floor at any hi-fi trade show
• to ensure that each individual viewing of “An Inconvenient Truth” burns more CO2 than it took to make the film itself.
• to put on a film like Transformers and initially be overwhelmed, then kinda bored and finally depressed at how most of the films I’m watching are really pretty shithouse.
• to budget into the room costing an allowance for therapy for reassurance that, what with the state of the world and all, it’s still okay to drop $6 million on a home cinema.
  and the ones that are good really don’t need any of this gear.

• to find enlightenment watching the death/dream sequence at the end of Kubrick’s 2001

I’m sure there are more things within the reach of this home cinema but, you know, I have a life to get back to. If you want more however - check out the guy with the biggest home subs I’ve ever seen. Considering the subs plus the various shades of brown in this guys room, the word anal has new, um.. resonance? The design of the site itself is enough to tell you that this guys sense of taste up and left when he bought that 1st copy of Neil Sedaka’s Calendar Girl when he was 13.